2018 is Almost Over
Dec. 22nd, 2018 07:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smallangryplanetI can’t believe December is almost over. The winter break is passing too fast and I really need it to slow down. School starts for me again on January 3, and I don’t know if I’m ready to start again. I just can’t deal with everything all over again. Also, I just… really don’t want it to be 2019. I’m turning 20 in 2019. That’s too old. I don’t want to be that old.
During breaks from school, I always feel really guilty if I don’t get anything done, so I’ve been trying to write 2,000 words a day of the project that I’m writing. It’s been working so far. I’ve been averaging about 2,300 words a day. I am really enjoying writing this current project (a Harry Potter fanfiction that I’ve somehow written 100,000 words of so far). I have a certain amount that I want to get done before school starts again.
A lot of things are stressing me out. Tomorrow, my family is leaving to visit my grandmother, which is fine, but we have to drive for seven hours and then I have to sleep in the same room as my mom and my brother which I hate because I’m super noise sensitive and can’t sleep in the same room as other people. Also, there was a power outage where we live yesterday that lasted most of the day and the night. I’m really glad it didn’t happen while I was in school, but it was stressful because I didn’t know when the power was going to come back on. I hate situations that I have no control over.
I’m also panicking about some random school related things. I need to respond to an email from one of my professors from last term and I do not want to do it. I’ll feel better once I do but I Just Can’t Do It. Also I feel anxious about seeing my college friends again. I have a huge crush on one of them and I just can’t deal with seeing her again. She’s in two of my classes next term.
I literally got straight A’s this term (and every other term I’ve been in school) but I’m totally worried I’m going to fail all my classes next term. It would be really nice if I believed I was actually somewhat in control of how well I do in school rather than believing it’s all due to chance. It would be nice if my brain didn’t constantly tell me that everything is horrible.
During breaks from school, I always feel really guilty if I don’t get anything done, so I’ve been trying to write 2,000 words a day of the project that I’m writing. It’s been working so far. I’ve been averaging about 2,300 words a day. I am really enjoying writing this current project (a Harry Potter fanfiction that I’ve somehow written 100,000 words of so far). I have a certain amount that I want to get done before school starts again.
A lot of things are stressing me out. Tomorrow, my family is leaving to visit my grandmother, which is fine, but we have to drive for seven hours and then I have to sleep in the same room as my mom and my brother which I hate because I’m super noise sensitive and can’t sleep in the same room as other people. Also, there was a power outage where we live yesterday that lasted most of the day and the night. I’m really glad it didn’t happen while I was in school, but it was stressful because I didn’t know when the power was going to come back on. I hate situations that I have no control over.
I’m also panicking about some random school related things. I need to respond to an email from one of my professors from last term and I do not want to do it. I’ll feel better once I do but I Just Can’t Do It. Also I feel anxious about seeing my college friends again. I have a huge crush on one of them and I just can’t deal with seeing her again. She’s in two of my classes next term.
I literally got straight A’s this term (and every other term I’ve been in school) but I’m totally worried I’m going to fail all my classes next term. It would be really nice if I believed I was actually somewhat in control of how well I do in school rather than believing it’s all due to chance. It would be nice if my brain didn’t constantly tell me that everything is horrible.
